Love Languages – Revisited

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How to Love YourselfA few years ago I wrote about “The Five Love Languages” as shared by author/speaker Gary Chapman. See post here. I have found the wisdom in this work to be most valuable in the past for my own inter-personal relationships. The interesting thing with life is that common issues can circle around and present themselves in new ways as the years unfold. And that is exactly what I realized last week as thoughts and conversations were focused on Valentine’s Day both with clients and in the media coverage.

Let me back up a wee bit. As each New Year begins, instead of resolutions, I have enjoyed coming up with 3-4 words that represent my high level intentions for the year ahead. This year my words are:

  • Fun
  • Balance
  • Spiritual Practice

As I sit with these words and allow them to bring new ideas and meaning into my daily life, I realized a new way of looking at my own love language. My top language happens to be “quality time”; something that I cherish from my husband, family and friends. I found myself contemplating how I could give myself the gift of quality time. I had never thought of how to feed myself with my own love language. However, my focus on this year’s 3 words is very closely related to how I might give myself the gift of quality time. As I dedicate the time in my schedule for spiritual practice, that is quality time. As I determine how to manage my work/life balance, I create personal quality time. When I allow myself to get creative and fun, the result can also show up as quality time.

Here’s an example. On a recent Sunday morning, I awoke to an empty house. I decided to go to church and enjoyed an easy schedule to prepare myself. Instead of taking a few minutes for my normal morning stretches, I decided to find a piece of happy music to crank up on the system and just dance around the living room. It was a CD I haven’t played for years…a piece by fiddler, Natalie MacMaster. It ended up being 5.5 minutes long and it certainly made me feel alive and ready for the day. What FUN!

What’s your love language? Here are the 5 languages according to Gary Chapman:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

How might you show more love to yourself through your love language? I welcome your feedback. I encourage you to share your thoughts here with the readers so we get the opportunity to learn from each other. You can connect with me via email or telephone, leave a comment right here on the site or click the contact tab at the bottom of the screen if you are reading this post on the website.

Let’s have the warmth of Valentine’s Day last all year.


To love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

-Oscar Wilde

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