Could it be that deep inside the hurting couples exists an invisible “emotional love tank” with its gauge on empty?  Could the misbehaviour, withdrawal, harsh words or critical spirit occur because of that empty love tank?  If we could find a way to fill it, could the marriage/relationship be reborn?  With a full tank would couples be able to create an emotional climate where it is possible to discuss differences and resolve conflicts?  Could that tank be the key that makes marriages work?

According to Gary Chapman and the work he has experienced with his seminars on the five love languages, the answer very frequently is yes!  I have shared this work in relationship seminars over the past few years and found it to be a beautiful companion to the Enneagram, a personality system which identifies the core motivation for our thoughts, emotions and actions.  Relationships can provide the perfect arena for life long learning about ourselves.  Let me share the Five Love Languages according to Gary.

#1 Words of Affirmation

It is a fact that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate.

• Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love.
• Encouraging words can be used to inspire courage in areas where we feel insecure.  If we lack courage in an area it often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things we would like to do.  Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your partner’s perspective.  We must first learn what is important to them.  Then you can communicate, I know, I care, I am with you, How can I help?
• Love is kind. The manner in which we speak is very important.

#2 Quality Time

Definition: giving someone your undivided attention. It is a powerful emotional communicator of love.  A central aspect of quality time is togetherness.  Not proximity…togetherness has to do with focused attention.

Quality conversation – the focus is on what we are hearing from the other. If I am sharing my love for you by means of quality time and we are going to spend that time in conversation, it means I will focus on drawing you out, listening sympathetically to what you have to say. I will ask you questions, not in a badgering manner but with a genuine desire to understand your thoughts, feelings and desires. Many of us are trained to analyze problems and create solutions.  We forget partnership is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.

Practical tips:

• Maintain eye contact
• Don’t listen to your spouse and do something else at the same time
• Listen for feelings
• Observe body language
• Refuse to interrupt

#3 Receiving Gifts

Gifts are visual symbols of love. Gifts can be big planned gifts at typically learned times or can be small everyday tokens of love and attention.  You can get creative with this and have fun. If this is so out of your realm, then ask close friends or family members for suggestions.  Everyone loves to support acts of kindness that make people happy. Don’t forget the gift of self – being there when your spouse really needs you speaks loudly to the one whose primary love language is receiving gifts.

#4 Acts of Service

Acts of service are doing things that you know your partner would like you to do.  You seek to please by serving and express your love by doing things for the other.  They require thought, planning, time effort and energy.  If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.

#5 Physical Touch

We have long known that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. For some individuals, physical touch is their primary love language.  With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their spouse. This area includes all 5 senses. Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love.  In marriage, the touch of love may take many forms. Since touch receptors are located throughout the body, lovingly touching your spouse almost anywhere can be an expression of love.

Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination on ways to express love.

Discovering your Primary Love Language

What is your Primary Love language?  There are few questions that you can ask yourself to assist in this discovery.

1.  What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply?  The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language.

2.  What have you most often requested or your spouse?  The thing you have most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved.

3.  In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse?  Your method of expressing love may be an indication that would also make you feel loved.

So – have some fun this Valentine’s Day exploring what your love language is.  We rarely choose a partner who has the same language and that’s where the fun begins.  My husband now knows that my main language is Quality Time so he can forgo the flowers and chocolate and come home early from work to spend the evening together doing something we both enjoy!

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.”  Anthony Robbins

“The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.”  Neale Donald Walsch

“At the heart of mankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. “ Gary Chapman

I’d love your feedback! And here on my blog, you’ll get commentluv. Not just today but all the time! This is a great opportunity to leave a link back to your own blog.

Until next time,

Karen

Do you find your happiness is dependent on the external circumstances of your life?

I have noticed a theme lately in working with clients and chatting with friends.  The discussions have reflected on how other people’s energy, actions and words affect our current state of happiness.  This is not new or unusual; however, we keep running into it at different levels.

We know our true happiness comes from inside, that we are responsible for how we respond to others and for our own perceptions, though putting it into practice is one of life’s greatest challenges!  So how do we tackle this challenge?

As a rather sensitive person, it is a skill set that I have been developing my whole life.  I recall numerous time as a child in public school, arriving home at the end of the day in tears, telling my mom I hated my red hair and freckles because I was teased so much.  The teasing to me felt like rejection and if I could only be a blonde or brunette, then all my troubles would be over.  If you are a blonde or brunette reading this, then you will have your own personal stories of teasing that have nothing to do with your hair colour.  Kids are amazing at coming up with an infinite number of ways to point out differences.  With the help of my mom and others, I began the journey of what we sometimes call “having broad shoulders”.

Don Miguel Ruiz put it beautifully in his book, “The Four Agreements” by labeling the second agreement “What anyone says about you is none of your business!”  We can never stop others from talking about us AND we can never make everyone in the world like us. (believe me, I tried for many years…) So, what matters is what WE say about us!  Literally, that voice in our head that is chatting away every conscious moment, has more impact than we give it credit for.  It is part of what I will call our Personal Power.  When we develop skills and habits to support our personal power, we have a greater likelihood of being able to “Manage our Energy!”

Managing Your Energy Gives You the Strong Foundation You Need to Handle Whatever Life Throws At You.

Energy comes in many forms which is great because it gives us many opportunities to support it.  We keep our energy or personal power balanced through:

• Proper rest
• Good nutrition
• Regular exercise
• Engaging in activities that bring us joy
• Taking time to dream
• Activities that provide positive reinforcement
• Self-reflection activities to check in with our current energy level

This is one of the reasons I was drawn to reiki.  It became one of my avenues for gauging my energy level or personal power and then effectively bringing it up to a higher functioning level. I have practiced reiki for 17 years now and have assisted many clients to tap into their personal power. For those who are drawn to learn how to bring this gift out for yourselves, I encourage you to explore reiki as one of the tools you can use.  I have a schedule of reiki training classes listed here on the website if you are in this area or you can search out a local reiki master teacher where you live.

As we head into this New Year, how can you learn to manage your energy and personal power more effectively? I would love your feedback. And here on my blog, you’ll get commentluv. What a wonderful opportunity for you to leave a link back to your own blog when you comment!

Until next time,

Karen

This year as I have been pondering this question – the words that have come forth are Courage and Discipline – Courage to continue speaking my truth with a loving heart and discipline to deepen my spiritual practice.  I am sure that I am not alone when I report that I get on a really good path of daily meditation or journaling, weekly commitments to work on my business instead of just working in my business and then life happens! I get a diversion for a short period and it takes me longer than I realize to get back on track.  Now, I realize that diversions will always come up; however I can certainly get back on track with much more expediency.

Here’s one of the reason’s I know that this year will be different!  My Dream Team!  Yes – in the last couple of months I have invested my time and energy into a Dream Team.  Similar to the idea of a Mastermind Group, this is a hand-picked group of people that commit to creating and supporting your greatest dreams. You can orchestrate the format of the group to work for all involved and I will share with you how our group got started.

• We have a group of 5 women entrepreneurs who have known each other for some years.
• We are committed to our businesses but more importantly to the quality of life we wish to live.
• We set up a 1 hour conference call on or as close to the new moon each month as positive thought forms and energies can be seeded on the new moon.
• The first task was to write out our BHAD’s. (Big, Hairy, Audacious Dreams) and share them with the team. For those of you who have been reading my blogs, you will understand when I say that my dreams took on the form of My Big Five For Life! Please click here to see this particular blog post.
• We decided the next steps would be to create a one page business plan which includes our Vision, Mission, Objectives, Strategies and Action Plans all tied into our long range dreams. We are currently working through this list.
• Each month we set goals to complete for the coming month and all members can solicit the help of any other member throughout the month.
• We keep each other abreast of our accomplishments and any inspirational material we believe worthy to share.
• In the words of a recent Women’s Circle speaker, Virginia Hackson, the group represents some of our strongest Champions!

So far this group has been extremely valuable to me.  I am right on track with my objectives which include my spiritual and health practices!  I have great expectations for 2012!  How about you, what plans do you have and how are you supporting them?

I’d love your feedback. And, here on this blog, you’ll get commentluv. What a great opportunity for you to leave a link back to your own blog when you leave a comment.

Until next time,

Karen

“Love me when I least deserve it because that is when I need it the most!”

This message reminds me of many moments in my life when those close to me are in “That Space”.  It happens often at this time of year when people are stressing out over the holidays. You know, those times when people in your life are miserable, moody, pushy or just closed off!  That is exactly what is happening – they or we are closing off the world because we are not feeling ready to take in any more.  The ‘more’ I am referring to, is more burdens, more challenges, more pain or whatever has put us into this place of negativity.  A self fulfilling scenario occurs as we express our own message of negativity to the world; we get more of that back.  Our ego gets to be right – we are justified in our bad mood because the world is just not kind and loving at this time.

We tend to give young children a break because we know they are just feeling hurt.  We approach them with a message that it’s not that bad and we attempt to shift their perspective so that they are happy and open once again.

Somehow when we grow up, we have higher expectations of ourselves and of course others do too.  I can hear that voice in my head saying “oh just snap out if it” when someone close to me is in “That Space” for too long.  I live with 4 men in my house ( 3 adult sons and my husband) who don’t let me get away with being in a negative space for very long at all before they will subtly say something like, “what’s up with you today – why are you in such a _____ mood?”  This usually triggers a response in me that complains about not even being able to be in a bad space – however, it is a gift.  I get to decide whether it is a worthy space to be in and deal with the issue or if I just need to bring awareness to an emotion inside me that I have not dealt with.

At a recent Women’s Circle, our presenter Virginia Hackson, had a brilliant way of expressing this.  She shared that it was never in our best interest to “rent space in our bodies to unresolved issues”. I love this simple expression because it is true!

So, when I find myself in a negative mood, I am learning to realize that I really need to show myself some love as I would to a young child.  And of course what we learn to give ourselves, we can learn to give others.  This Christmas season, when stress can create thin fuses in our emotional balance, let’s remember to “Show the Love!”

I will close this post with one of my favourite pieces that I recently rediscovered in my notes and will keep in the forefront over the coming weeks.

Today is the beginning of my new life.
I am starting over today.
All good things are coming to me today.
I am grateful to be alive.
I see beauty all around me.
I live with passion and purpose.
I take time to laugh and play every day.
I am awake, energized and alive.
I am free to be myself.
I am magnificence in human form.
I am the perfection of life.
I am grateful to be….ME.
Today is the best day of my life.
I focus on all the good things in life and give thanks for them.
I am at peace and one with Everything.
I feel the love, the joy, the abundance!

Feel free to share this with your friends and family! And I’d love your feedback. Here on my blog, you’ll get commentluv. This is a great opportunity to leave a link back to your own blog when you leave a comment.

Join me in creating each day to be the best it can be.  Some days will be easier than others but if we shoot for the Stars we won’t be disappointed!

Karen

Let me back up – 11 years ago, I had a call from a friend who was putting together a couples’ activity group and wondered if my husband and I would enjoy participating.  There would be 6 couples and each would be responsible for creating an event once during the year for the group. I was all in to add a bit of play time to our busy schedules and jumped right in as it sounded like a wonderful idea.

We started off with a planning meeting where we all brought our ideas and calendars and we established the first 6 events. Many of us had younger children at the time ranging in age from approximately 7 – 13 so some events were classified as family activities and some just couples. Who would ever have known that 11 years later, we would still be a very active group and we look forward to every event with great excitement.

We have experienced things that as a couple we would never have known about or thought about for that matter!  We are always on the look out for a “couples’ idea” as the year unfolds and I keep a special folder that I put flyers, newspaper clippings and hand written ideas into to bring forward the next year.  We actually have our official 6 events now and a number of what we call “extras”! The apple pie making day has become an annual extra that started as one of the couples’ official event 5 years ago.  We loved it so much that we all committed to continue every fall after the apple harvest has taken place. The men work in the garage peeling, coring, cutting and mixing the apples with the magic recipe of cinnamon, sugar and flour.  They bring the bins of prepared apple filling into the kitchen where the gals are busy making pastry, rolling the dough, filling the pies and handing them back to the guys to bag and label.  Refreshments are served, we catch up on all the happenings of each family and end up with a pot luck dinner complete with fresh made apple pie for dessert.  The best part is, we leave at the end of the night with a supply of apple pies to tuck into the freezer at home.

This group has been an important outlet for creativity, laughter, support during challenging times and a very special part of all of our lives.  The activities range from themed and costumed dinners like a King Henry VIII feast, outdoor hiking excursions, camping weekends, music, theatre, games nights, boat tours, winter tubing, tobogganing and on and on.  Here’s what’s coming up for this year:

• We kicked off with an evening guided lantern tour of the Sharon Temple followed by a visit to the Roast of Sharon to listen to the band.
• A full dress Halloween Dinner Party where every part of the meal was in complete theme for the evening.
• A dinner ride on the York Durham Heritage Railway.
• A visit to the ROM in the spring.
• A evening of up-close magic with a professional magician to entertain after our swim and bbq dinner.
• A tour of the Butter Tart Trail.

Most of our lives have ample demands for our time and energy and having this group gives a little respite to the hectic schedules. We always have lots to laugh about and we are reminded of the special gift that friendship brings into our lives.  We dream of taking a grand trip one day like boating down the French waterways or going to New Zealand and you know – I believe it will happen!  So – I encourage you to explore this idea if it sparks an interest.  I am happy to share specifics if anyone is interested.  How about you – do you have annual group events that bring richness to your life?  I would love to hear about them. And when you leave your comment, don’t forget to take advantage of the commentluv you will find here and leave a link back to your own blog at the same time! Of course I am always open to great ideas to host for our events too – pass along your ideas! LOL

Until next time,

Karen

I understand that not everyone reading this will be in the same place of interest with the significance of the shifting energy right now and that is totally great.  No matter what our understanding and beliefs are about the world shifts, we can all benefit from the foundational guidelines for living our life with intention and to focus on enlightenment, possibilities and potential!  In fact, if we all made a decision to do that today, there would be a HUGE energetic shift in consciousness that would manifest in countless ways around the world. However – let’s bring it back to you and me! How do we practice integration and stay aligned with our intentions?  From my experience – it comes down to a few core components carried out with consistency.  My colleague Shawn Nisbet, who is a holistic nutritionist, finds clients can relate when we think of our core components as the wheels on a car.  All four wheels require attention to keep the car balanced. In no particular order, the four wheels represent:

1. Nutrition
2. Rest
3. Exercise
4. Stress Management

The steering wheel can represent the Spiritual – the true driver! If any wheel is flat, the ride is affected. We can all handle being off balance for short periods of time before the body gives us stronger and stronger signals to pay attention to before a breakdown will occur.

For me – I want to be at peak performance to live my life every day. Together with my Dream Team, I have created a vision statement and business plan that incorporates strategies for all four wheels. The first 3 are quite straight forward so I thought I would share with you my strategies for the 4^th wheel entitled Stress Management.

• Spend quality time with my family.
• Do what I do best and where possible enlist the help of experts to do the rest. Ie: book-keeping, social media, financial consultant, nutritionists, estheticians, masseuses, hair stylists.
• Work with a coach/mentor to stretch, support and guide me in what I say I want.
• Meditate a minimum of 15 minutes daily and do self reiki.
• Always make time for my hobby of singing weekly with the North Metro Sweet Adelines chorus and part time with my church choir.
• Connect regularly with my friends.
• Spend time outdoors – no matter what season it is!
• Do good deeds whenever the opportunity presents itself.
• Have play time.

These are a few of the things that feed my soul and bring richness to my life.  What do you do to lower the stress level in your life? I’d love your feedback!  On my blog you’ll get commentluv. This is a wonderful opportunity to leave a link back to your own blog when you leave a comment.

Until next time,

Karen

For my presentation, I decided to once again focus on the wisdom of the Enneagram to bring insights on how each of us may get out of balance.  The Enneagram is a dynamic personality system that highlights 9 different ways of thinking, feeling and acting in the world as well as acknowledging the accompanying strengths and challenges each type connects with.  Previous blog entries have covered an overview of each of the nine types if you require more detailed information here.

What I have witnessed in myself and others, is that our gifts and strengths when out of balance, become our greatest challenge. I liken it to having blinkers on that the race horses are often seen wearing to keep their focus straight ahead on the track. When we have our blinkers on and are focused on the very thing that our personality tunes into with all of our energy, it is safe to say that there are aspects of our lives that are getting the short end of the stick.  That action typically does not act in our favour long term. It is a way that we get ourselves “stuck” so to speak.  Let me give you a brief run down for each type from my experience.

Type 1 – naturally notices what is wrong in any given situation in order to improve it. They want to ensure the details are correct before moving ahead with a decision or course of action to create the “best” outcome. Sometimes we don’t get to have all the details in life and need to move ahead anyway. One’s can get paralyzed and not see the forest for the trees.

Type 2 – naturally focuses on the happiness of others and takes a personal responsibility to support that end. If the energy is continually focused outwards and nothing is coming back to refuel the 2’s tank, they run themselves empty, unable to do what they desire most to do.

Type 3 – naturally focuses on gaining acceptance and recognition by achieving success in whatever they do. When all focus is on obtaining the goal and how that will bring them joy and the joy does not come, they connect with their inner feelings and wonder “what’s the race all about?”

Type 4 – naturally focused on being authentic to their inner truth and uniqueness, can get overwhelmed in the enormity of their feelings and become unable to move forward or determine what is really true in moment for them.

Type 5 – naturally focused on their journey of continuous learning and maintaining a self sufficient live style, fives can get disconnected from the outer world and their own basic needs to look after their body.

Type 6 – naturally focused on being well prepared for whatever their current life situation is requiring, can get lost when too many uncontrollable variables are happening all at once. They lose faith that they have all the skills necessary to handle whatever is present.

Type 7 – naturally focused on being spontaneous and joyful to the possibilities of each day, notice that when no discipline is given to what seems like menial tasks or commitments, can create too much discomfort around them. This is exactly what they wish to avoid.

Type 8 – naturally focused on being in control, creating their own decisions and making them work; can get stuck in an all or nothing mode. And sometimes they get nothing!

Type 9 – naturally focused on keeping inner peace, they also attempt to not rock the boat in their outer world.  Sometimes in order to keep the inner peace, they must rock the outer world and they can become stuck before deciding to do this.

For all types, it is important to “stop” the business of life and create more opportunities to “be”.  To connect with our wholeness, the mind, body and heart at one time. When we can find activities that bring a balance to our inner being, we will create balance in our outer experience. I would love to hear your stories of how you know when you are out of balance and how you bring yourself back.

I offer commentluv here on my site. When leaving a comment, you can opt to leave a link back to your own blog site as well!

Until next time,

Karen

The December 2010 issue of Oprah Magazine had a full article from Susan Casey on her experience going to Brazil to see John of God.  Here is an excerpt from that article that addresses energy healing.

“Despite widespread skepticism, evidence shows that energy healing not only exists but can be deeply powerful. Traditional Eastern treatments like acupuncture and Reiki act to strengthen the body’s life force, known as chi or prana. Prayer as a conduit for healing is a long-held religious ritual, along with the laying on of hands. Though belief in the effectiveness of prayer is as old as civilization, the results are tough to pin down. Bernard Grad, PhD, a Canadian biologist from McGill University, worked with a spiritual healer named Oskar Estebany conducting controlled studies in the late 1950s and ’60s. Using mice that had been uniformly wounded, Estebany would place his hands upon the wire covers on certain cages, willing those animals to heal. The results were dramatic: In one experiment, the wounds on Estebany’s treated mice were “very significantly smaller” after two weeks than those of mice that had been left to heal on their own. The team also discovered that plant seeds exposed to energy healing grew at a faster rate. There was a force here, they agreed, and it appeared to be doing something beneficial. What that force was, however, no one could say for sure.

One physician I knew to be interested in John of God’s work was Mehmet Oz (known by many as Dr. Oz). As a cardiac surgeon his training had been rigorously scientific, but he wondered about what Western medicine didn’t yet know. “I think the next big frontier is unlocking the doors to energy medicine,” Oz told me. “It dramatically broadens our vista of opportunities to heal. The challenge we have is that energy is not as easily quantified as the surgeon’s scalpel.” Please click here for a link to the full article.

In researching other thoughts on this topic, I also uncovered an interesting discussion specifically on reiki and Christian beliefs.

“As Christians search for ways to follow more fully Jesus’ teachings and examples in order to draw closer to God, it is important to be aware of the examples Jesus set for us. Many of these focused on healing others (Matt: 14:14, Mark 3:10, Luke 4:38-39). And much of his healing was done by laying on hands. Here are a few examples: In Matthew 8:14-15, Jesus uses touch to heal Peter’s mother-in-law of a fever. In Mark 1:40-42 Jesus uses his hands to heal a man with leprosy. This is also mentioned in Luke 5:12-13. Matthew 20:29-34 describes how Jesus healed two blind men by touching their eyes and in Mark 8:22-25 Jesus uses his hands to heal another blind man. In Mark 7:32 35 he uses touch to heal a man who is deaf and can’t speak. In Luke 7:12-15, Jesus raises a dead man by touching his coffin and in Luke 8:49-55 Jesus uses touch to return a dead girl to life.

Scripture clearly indicates that healing is something appropriate for Christians to be involved with. Christians who have a solid foundation in their faith know that God will always protect and guide them. Those Christians who practice Reiki do so within the guidance and protection of God secure in the belief that they have been guided to follow Jesus’ example to be a healer.”  Please click here for more information.

So to sum up from my viewpoint, I believe in the healing power of reiki as I have both experienced and witnessed incredible healing over the past 15 years. Whether the magical shifts come from the power of our intention, from our own higher self, from a divine connection or God power, you can come to your own conclusions.  I know that for me it brings a broader spiritual focus to my life, that it works and it brings me peace and joy and connection to a deep loving presence.  That’s good enough for me!  I am aware that I covered a Christian focus to this piece and welcome input from others.

On this blog, you’ll get commentluv. This is an opportunity to leave a link back to your own blog when you leave a comment.

Until next time,

Karen

Attendees had the opportunity to hear many experts in the field of social media, finance and systems who offered numerous take away ideas.  Now the challenge is to reflect on the ideas and see which ones have the highest return for each of our own unique business situation.

I couldn’t help but think of the famous saying “No matter how much things change, some things stay the same!”  This stood out to me with such clarity as I reflected on the day in 2 ways.

With the lightning speed of technology development over the last decade which increases the digital component of communication, the underlying message from all speakers was:

Business is about building relationships!

People do business with people they know, like and trust. We now have social media which offers the ability to reach out and share knowledge but also offers a venue to expose a businesses core values, beliefs and personality. There were concrete examples shared for the use of videos, blogs, QR codes and websites.  Did you know that 90% of online consumers say watching videos will influence their buying decision?  So the question for each business is – how are you building relationships with your current and potential clients given the addition of new technology?

The other point that does not change is the need for good basic business practices.

• Use the expertise you have developed in your core business to add any additional services.
• Create your business plan, work your plan and evaluate your plan.

This is where small and medium sized businesses can fall short.  If we take the time to work on our business instead of always working in our business we will create more favourable outcomes. So – as we move into the fourth quarter of this year; how is your business doing according to your 2011 plan?

For me – I made a plan to support my customers to have 2011 be the year to create outstanding relationships.  I have offered numerous courses throughout the year and have just added the final series to complete the year.  I invite you to review the upcoming workshops or set up a one on one session if your plan includes taking your relationships to the next level.

I’d love your feedback.  Here on this blog, you’ll get commentluv. This is a wonderful opportunity to leave a link back to your own blog when you leave a comment.

Until next time,

Karen

I refer to a quotation that I often use in my announcements for Enneagram courses and that is “We are unconscious of 80% of what we think, say and do!”  That is a huge percentage and not one that instills a feeling of joy in most people! You see, we have been so programmed by life from the moment we entered this world, that our belief systems run most of our decisions.  Here are some examples that begin very early.

Depending on our environment, we learn what it means to:

• Be first born, middle born or last born
• Be male or female
• Have both parents, or only one
• Both parents work, or only one
• Live in a house or apartment
• Go to church, public school, Catholic school, pre-school
• Have a car, truck, boat, motorcycle, cottage

Of course the list is endless and there are many books written on how to understand, cope with or support many of these above situations. As we get older we even learn in school how to influence people’s decisions under the course headings of Advertising, Marketing or Sales Communications. We have the world telling us what to think and how to think from every direction.  Author Eldon Taylor has written numerous books on how our minds have been programmed and how to begin the task of disconnecting from the outer world and reconnecting with our inner world.  You can check him out here:  It is no wonder that tapping into our own inner truth is a huge challenge.  It has been over ridden and buried so many times that the inner voice has gone quiet.

As a Type Two on the Enneagram, I developed a great skill of checking in with others and learning what their current point of view was and as long as it was not illegal or immoral, it felt very comfortable to take it on.  It allowed me to relate and have a common point of interest with them.  There were always certain issues that were very clear for me but I tended to lean towards a more collaborative view.  I thought that worked for me….or should I say it worked until it didn’t work any more.  Huh?  It didn’t work when I had to answer for myself, to know what my opinion was and risk that it was different from everyone else.  It began to get confusing as an adult when my opinions were challenged.  How could I discover and speak my truth and still keep the peace?  I felt lost and empty. Of course that was the beginning of my awakening journey. I learned that my attempt to keep everyone else happy, was not really working for my highest good.  I was paying a price for it.  I also learned that going along with others when I didn’t necessarily agree 100% was also not serving them in their highest interest.

Let me give you an example.  Recently a client came in and shared with me that he was completely ready to shift a specific emotional block that had been holding him back for years.  He had been doing regular work and shedding layers of this and now an inner voice was saying – it’s time to clear this for good.  He did not want to feel limited by this fear any longer.  Great – I was fully ready to support that.  We began the session and everything was moving along perfectly until we hit the wall.  The wall for me was – it was time for me to step up and really challenge this client to enter the fear zone even though he was trying to move around it.  His wall was staying with the fear until he broke through to the truth.  He was very convincing at one point that that was enough, it was all he could take.  My inner voice did not agree – I knew we were too close so I kept focused on the intention.  End result – the resistance dropped, clarity and truth shone through. Not always easy but always deeply satisfying.

Tolerating things that don’t seem that important to deal with or stuffing down your truth blocks energy flow.  Blocked energy flow affects our thoughts, our emotions which in turn affects the proper functioning of our physical body. That’s a whole other series of topics so let’s simplify it here by saying – we are paying a price.  What are you tolerating in your life that is really not okay?  What price are you paying for it?  I’m ready to assist you in your highest interest because that serves everyone!

How about you? Are you speaking your truth? I’d love your feedback! Here on my blog, you’ll get commentluv. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to leave a link back to your own blog when you leave a comment.

Until next time,

Karen