Understanding Emotional Intelligence

emotional intelligenceBack in 1995 a new best seller hit the bookstores called “Emotional Intelligence”, by Daniel Goleman and the impact it had on my business career was significant.  I recall reading this book and feeling such a resonance with the material like there was finally scientifical proof to so much of what I instinctually knew to be true.  I ended up becoming certified in giving the EI assessment and from there was introduced to an incredible tool for developing our emotional intelligence called the Enneagram!

To this day, I believe that how well we handle our daily interactions and life stresses are based more on how developed our emotional intelligence skills are than anything else. In fact when we are not processing our emotions effectively; it creates the opportunity for energy imbalances to manifest and these show up as dis-ease symptoms in the body. Yes – I believe that every physical symptom in the body first originated at the emotional level.

What is emotional intelligence?

“Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of your daily life, such as the way you behave and the way you interact with others.

If you have high emotional intelligence you are able to recognize your own emotional state and the emotional states of others, and engage with people in a way that draws them to you. You can use this understanding of emotions to relate better to other people, form healthier relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life.”

There is a fabulous article posted on this topic that I would like to share with you as it provides 5 key skills for raising your EQ.

Another tool I have experienced that provides an excellent opportunity to become aware of our EQ is Horse Therapy. I booked a session to explore this therapy after being introduced to a local practitioner last year.  Now I grew up with horses and have always known what a gift they were in my developing teenage years however I have been away from them for most of my adult life.

I arrived to the farm with an open mind to experience what might show up under the guidance of a horse therapist and the presence of these beautiful beasts.  Crystal gave me an exercise to do out in the field where 5 horses were grazing.  I was to approach each one of them and make a connection without speaking or touching them. She gave me 2 questions to answer as well as some personal guidelines to be aware; items like, how was my breathing as I went through the exercise, was I anxious, what was the voice in my head doing? It was definitely a different approach for me not to talk or touch the horses which was typically my natural comfort zone to do.

I found that I did settle into this new experience quite well and as I would think it was time to move to a new horse, magically they took care of that task for me by switching up themselves and coming right to me.  When the 5th and last horse began to approach me, I my thoughts went to “Wow, this is too good to be true, I am not going to have to walk across the field to any of them, they are all coming to me!” The minute that thought crossed my mind, the 5th horse changed his path and moved away from me, creating the opportunity for me to cross the field and go to him!

Crystal had it pegged so clearly as she asked in our de-briefing session; what went through my mind when the last horse changed his path?  Then she asked me how often I find myself thinking things are going too good and sabotage an outcome?  I gained many ah ha moments that day but the power of that thought and how quickly it manifested in my outcome was the most profound.  There are many of these wonderful horse therapy locations and I encourage you to look into it if it calls to you.  I worked with Crystal Peck-Johnson who runs a company called “Horses Refining Hearts”.

What experiences have you had that bring awareness to your automatic patterns of response? I’d love your feedback. And please leave a link back to your own blog too if you have one, via the commentluv feature here on the site.

Until next time,



5 thoughts on “Understanding Emotional Intelligence

  1. I love the story of your experience with the horses, Karen. To have such powerful witnessing to your thoughts and feelings is a true gift! My sense is that we are given these mirrors all the time, but have forgotten how to see and feel, to recognize what is happening in our immediate field. AH, that we should learn to dance again with nature’s sacred energies… horses too!
    Andrea Mathieson recently posted..Closing Shop — at least this one!My Profile

    • gee Andrea – I am sometimes at a loss for words to respond to your beautiful wordsmithing! So may I just say thank you for adding to this conversation and acknowledging the part that nature and animals can play in our awakening. in gratitude <3


    • gee Andrea – I am sometimes at a loss for words to respond to your beautiful wordsmithing! So may I just say thank you for adding to this conversation and acknowledging the part that nature and animals can play in our awakening. in gratitude <3


  2. Loved your article! I am of the understanding that the earth’s beings are agreeing to help us heal, so that we can help heal what we have done in our ignorance of the balance of life. Such wonderful beings here. Thank you Karen for writing about your experience.

    • Hi Krow – it’s amazing how kind they are in showing us where we are at. It’s quite a mirror experience for sure. Thanks for your wise comments.

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