Nine Ways of Relating in Life – Are You a Type 3?
Ready-Set-Go! Do you love to keep yourself busy? Like to make to-do lists, set goals, have a plan and don’t mind putting in the time and focus to accomplish what you set out to do? Do you love competition and have that natural optimistic attitude about life? If these statements resonate with you then follow along to learn more about the drive of the Enneagram Type Three and how that can play out in your life.
Remember that we all have a bit of every type in us so it is valuable to explore how each type fits into our own way of being.
Type Three’s can be called the Achiever, the Motivator, The Performer, The Succeeder, The Initiator. Decisive, risk-taking, adaptable and optimistic; no type equals the Three in terms of energy and motivation. They expect success and more often than not, they get it.
Three’s can juggle many balls in the air at any given time – no moss will grow under their feet. Evenings and holidays are rarely spent relaxing with their feet up, (why waste all that time?). They always have lots on their to-do list including hobbies or just being out with friends enjoying the activities of life. Three’s are looking for recognition and acknowledgement for being successful, outstanding in their field or someone to watch out for. This comes from the deep fear of not having value outside their achievements. “I can not be valued for who I am therefore what I do must be successful.”
The “F” word for Three’s is Failure, because it is so difficult to separate what they do from who they are. So image plays a big part in the Three’s life. If you are going to be successful, you had better look successful and three’s will take time investing in how they look and present themselves. That will include having all the latest and greatest technology and new gadgets. It not only looks good but it is efficient, it attracts attention and it’s fun. With all this activity, it can be difficult for three’s to get in touch with their feelings. Though they are often motivated by them, it’s not a place to hang out. Here’s how one Type Three puts it: “ I daren’t stop and relax, all I can feel is this great hollow space inside and I don’t like the feeling…so I get up and fix something or start another project, or go out for a run – anything rather than face that empty place where feelings come up. I can deceive myself that I don’t have them, that everything is fine, as long as I am busy. Anyway, if she knew the real me, she’d leave wouldn’t she?”
Threes at their best in a relationship, value and accept their partners. They are playful, giving, responsible and well regarded by others in the community. At their worst in a relationship are preoccupied with work and projects. They are self-absorbed, defensive, impatient, dishonest and controlling.
Practical suggestions for Type Three:
- Be proud of all your special gifts, talents and accomplishments.
- Work toward fulfilling the needs that were not met in your childhood. Treat yourself lovingly and compassionately.
- Value living in the present.
- Find ways to make your everyday duties and responsibilities creative or playful.
- Commit yourself to creative work that will bring out the best in you.
- Try taking a back seat at a meeting and listening to others.
- Take a day with the family, doing whatever they choose.
- Take time every day to meditate. Pay attention when feelings arise. Instead of pushing them down, practise staying with them and observing the effect on the body.
- Notice when the urge to leap up and go arises in mediation…Sit for at least another 5 minutes and gradually increase this time.
Madonna, Bill Clinton, Barbara Streisand, Elvis Presley, Joan Rivers, Tony Robbins, Shania Twain, Christopher Reeve, Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, John Travolta, Kathy Lee Gifford, Whitney Houston.
How about you? Do you relate to being a Type 3? I love getting feedback. And here on my blog, you’ll get commentluv. This is a plug in that allows you to leave a link back to your own site when you leave a comment. But, you don’t have to be a blogger to leave a comment, I’d love to hear from everyone!
Until next time,